A local furry has been forced to eat dog food as her SNAP benefits have expired. Sally Smith's family purchased the food after she showed up at the breakfast table one day in a dog costume and announced that she was now a dog named Cocoa. Her affirming family had always wanted a dog, so were thrilled with Sally's transition. They walked her daily, bought her lots of dog toys and made sure there was always a bowl of dog food available. However, as dogs often do, she continued to prefer people food...until it all ran out. When the family's SNAP benefits expired, Cocoa's owners explained to her that dog food was quite nutritious and specially formulated for her optimum health. They further explained that she should never have even had SNAP benefits as using public assistance to feed dogs was a waste of taxpayer money. After running out of dog food, the family euthanized Cocoa.
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @kirgol.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Furry Forced To Eat Dog Food After SNAP Benefits Expire @kirgol
Good Samaritan Lifeguards Mistakenly Attempt To Push Your Sunbathing Mom Back Into The Ocean @njhokie84
CDL Test Only Requires Drivers To Read Signs ‘Newsom For President 2028' @ruthiej714
Trick Or Treaters Threaten To Loot If Halloween Benefits Run Out @yantelope
Man Arriving In Heaven Still Pretty Sure He Didn't Need To See A Doctor @middleaged_machinist
Chinese President Makes New Trade Deal For Lifetime Supply Of Honey @realshlemiel
Wife Arrested For Playing Christmas Music The Day After Halloween @dontslowtheearth
Martin Luther Nails 95 Posts To Pope's X Account @twoplus2ischicken
'Speed 3: Fast And Free' To Be Filmed On New York City Streets @annafillaxis
Couples Who Say ‘We're Pregnant' Really Just Saying At Least One Of Them Is Gay @priehle
AOC First Casualty Due To Expired SNAP Benefits @thebigfreeze
Baptist Haunted House A Room Full Of Pentecostals With Arms Raised @drconservativeprof
Senate Probe Reveals "Gravity" At Top Of Biden Enemies List @neohillbilly
Top Women Of The Year Surprisingly All Female @alola_rychu
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
East Wing Demolition Crew Discovers Body Of Jimmy Hoffa @manfromkt1978
Child Becomes Libertarian After Father Taxes All Of His 'Good' Candy @davidjohnson
Christian Husband Vows To Pray Harder For Wife Overwhelmed With Household Chores @leecory
UK Police Frantically Search Scene Of Mass Stabbing For Evidence Of Islamophobia @abking
Wife Insists On Costliest Streaming Plan, So She Can Fall Asleep To More Channels @elmer2flp
Gavin Newsom Sends National Guard To LA To Protect Rioters And Looters @dontslowtheearth
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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