In the wake of a decisive win for Mayor of New York City by socialist Zohran Mamdani, Spirit Halloween announced they will be moving in to take up all the empty buildings as the capitalists move out. In a big win for liberals, socialists and communists, there will now be a plethora of costumes available to wear while waiting in line for bread at the free grocery stores. New Yorkers have long looked forward to a new era of affordability in the Big Apple where all the capitalist pigs who used to make it there leave to make it anywhere so Spirit Halloween can move in.
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @beehappy2.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Cuomo Admits His Mistake Was Not Shouting 'Death To America!' @annafillaxis
Flyover States Enter Stealth Mode Until New Yorkers Finish Resettling In Florida @kirgol
Pelosi Tells Flying Monkeys 'I'll Miss You Most Of All' @realschlemiel
Woman Treats Husband To Another Exciting Round Of 'Guess Why I'm Upset' @middleaged_machinist
Oh No: Husband Wasn't Paying Attention When Wife Asked A Question And Now Has To Go Antiquing This Weekend @drconservativeprof
Crusaders Launch Campaign To Retake New York City From Muslim Control @twoplus2ischicken
Mamdani Renames Times Square ‘Red Square' @ruthiej714
Mamdani Brags To His Middle East Buddies About All The Tunnels In New York City @dontslowtheearth
Statue Of Liberty Heads To Florida @baberahamlincoln
Global Warming To Resume In Wake Of Democrat Victories @neohillbilly
Hasbro Introduces Mamdani Monopoly Where The State Controls All The Property @thebigfreeze
Pelosi To Hang Up Ruby Slippers @eversong
Rookie Socialist Only Has One House @surfduck
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Mamdani Celebrates Victory By Paragliding Into City Hall @dontslowtheearth
Family Replaces Grotesque Lawn Zombie Decorations With Nativity Scene @jswag
Hunter Asks Cartels To Stop Sending His Monthly Shipments Via Boat @drconservativeprof
St. Peter Declines Offer To Go Hunting With Cheney @shawnfucious
Spirit Halloween Moves Into New York After Mamdani Win @beehappy2
Wife Gently Explains To Husband That A Federal Judge Has Blocked His Request For Sex @leecory
Draft Kings Sets Odds On Which Athletes Are On The Take @lpathehuman
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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