Report: Chuck Schumer invented fictional New York couple that he’s used his whole political career

Image for article: Report: Chuck Schumer invented fictional New York couple that he’s used his whole political career

Bro, I knew Chuck Schumer was an odd duck, but I had no idea it went this far.

You can watch Jon Oliver rant in a rare clip of leftist-on-leftist warfare, or skip ahead for the deets.

[Warning: Jon Oliver has a foul mouth]

Joe and Eileen Bailey are a (fictional) middle-class couple in Massapequa, which is a suburb on Long Island. You can read all about them in Schumer's 2007 book, Positively American.

The Baileys:

  • Bought into Reagan Republicanism in 1980.

  • Are worried about losing their jobs.

  • Believe in tax breaks for kids to go to college.

  • Make around $70,000 (in ~2007 dollars).

  • Are not anti-immigration, but are anti-illegal immigration.

  • Really dislike the Enron executives who stole money.

  • Are pro-choice.

  • Voted for Donald Trump.

  • Have children.

  • Don't tolerate lying in their house.

  • Watch Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives.

  • Think most baseball players take steroids.

  • Enjoy kung pao chicken.

  • Have guided Chuck Schumer's political life.

Oh, I missed one big one:

They aren't real!

Schumer has even changed their names over the years, and it's been an open secret:

If we had a fair and balanced press the last 50 years, why was a dinosaur like Schumer allowed to lie for his entire career without pushback?


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