I'm pleased to announce that DOGE has fulfilled my Christmas wish and left the U.S. Consumer Product and Safety Commission's weird meme guy alone.
In fact, the weird meme guy seems to appreciate Trump's systematic takedown of government overreach:
All of which means it's time for this year's insane Christmas safety warnings!
You've heard of the ghost of Christmas past, but have you heard of the ghost of dry Christmas trees?
It burns faster than paper.
I'm pretty sure these are veiled references to ordering gifts on Temu:
Finally, my favorite category: age appropriate gifts. Honestly, I wasn't sure how this chainsaw gem from last year could be topped:
But this year's there's a warning about not giving kids enchanted scorpions:
And then he brought out the flaming sword of Handsomeus Ronicus!
Where do you even go from there?
P.S. Now check out our latest video 👇
